Courtship vs. Arranged Marriages

[SageMother]

I have to assume that Tunisians don't engage in arranged marriages as much as other cultures do, simply because it seem that the government is secular and wouldn't support this.

That being said, are there traditional courtship rituals or practices stemming from centuries past, that are expected in modern day Tunisia?

[Kris]

To be fair it is pretty simillar to the UK in my experience with the exception of privacy.

You basically keep your boyfriends/girlfreinds under wraps and if you want everyone to know you become engaged which party explains why so many people become engaged and break it of in Tunisia.

Also you have the added part of needing daddies permission to be married which is not so common here and if his not about then the brother. Somtimes this can be funny for example my wife once had a guy ask my brother in law for permission, he said yes and then she didn't like him at all LOL (incidently I got permission from Dad as everyone else said no but they love me now).

[kellyc]

Hi,

well speaking just from what I see and witness myself I can say that things are pretty much very open as Kris said.

It is still common that the couples remain quiet about the relationship as opposed to flaunting it though you do still see this, the man will often visit the ladies house and ask the father if he can take her out for the evening, etc and then the relationship continues then to show their comitment etc their hold an engagement party (as Kris said) this is then like being accepted as a couple - they then plan their wedding - they do not live together until after the wedding and so the man is making preparations for accomodation etc normally. This is what I have witnessed and still witness in my fiance's local area though things are changing and of course becoming more open and free and often you now see couples wandering together that are maybe not engaged, but it is certainly not how it used to be and in the same aspect they do still follow their religion as in no *** before marriage etc.

My fiance did in fact contact my dad when he proposed to be and we become engaged as i sign of respect, which i think is still very common in UK that the man speaks with the father of the lady.

[SageMother]

So based on what you are saying, males still determine the access females have to when it comes to dating and marriage. Is this something that comes fromo religion or does it have other purposes?

[Delstar]

Females should obtain approval from their legal guardian, father or eldest brother if the father is not alive, this is a religious rule. However in tunisia from what i understand if the girl is over 21 she does not need the approval of her father..

[khadimia]

For me I still prepare on courtship rather than on arranged Marriages. It's nice if you marry a man or woman that you’re really love.

[Kamantha]

I think sometimes we get confused between religion and culture

[rogerc]

I agree culture is the big issue and one must respect they way things are done although frustrating for us Europeans it may be at times.

[Tounsia]

Its nothing to do with religion, its a culture thing trying to get the daughter or son to marry a good person which explains why arranged marriages happen (not that i agree with it).
The girl usually gets the final say anyways

[Essem]

I also think that lots of people who are in arranged marriages would never be married under normal cir***stances.